i dont hv any idea to write the title

its long right, the title? 
yes thats true i dont hv any idea .. thats usually happened when i write on blog
now im siting on window .. write this on my phone..  feel the night feel the wind and loneliness

a few days ago i just want to posting something to here but im to lazy
now here we go

now .. this night.. i feel so lonely
and i hv think about this
im caring people.. but are they too?

today at schl
my chairmate just become mad bcause he got trouble with the teacher
i asked why
and he explain it and he said a few bad words
then i said.. smile please?
bigger please?
and he did it

im happy

but not super happy

...

some my friends will talk to me if theres something they need or know
but after that they leave

i think many people act like tht
sometimes I just can't hold that feeling

2 days again I will get my mid report card
maybe there's some subject that I will got bad score
but I think I already do my best

sometimes I'm happy, not satisfied and sad and feel down

sometimes too I don't understand my own feeling

today too I think I feel so lonely
maybe someday if I feel like this again I will turn around my home
alone

I just want
I hoping
I wishing
I can I will
become more patient
more positive
more grateful

yeah just that

if u didn't get it what I say
its ok I thank to you so much .. bcause u hv read this
and hello my friend if u read this .. especially my chairmate at school
but I think u all maybe no read this

I just want say
this is my own feeling now
I cant explain
I can't describe

sorry if this post is annoying you
thanks for reading

its awkward

...

its not finish yet .. I remember about this

# are they caring me? 
yes
but sometimes I don't feel it

I said it yes because
a few days ago i sick
its started at school
I vomiting to much and much
so some of my friends
act like they caring me
I'm happy to know it

but sometimes too I feel they do like they didn't know me.. they didn't see me..

they not caring me

they is not only for my school friends
its for all people that I know and I care to them
even my social media friends or my family

I like to calming my self by feel the wind .. feel the silently .. sunset .. warm... sun...

gn ~

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