These and Those

This post might be talking about anything in my mind. I would like to talk about many things that have been in my mind lately.

First thing first, about the "emotion" that I found out, is hard to control it. Well, these days I feel some feelings and it's different each day, like one day I could be so pissed even for small things, another day I could feel so kind like I never been like that before, or I just being cool with anything that supposed to make me angry.

Well, I couldn't control my emotion yet, but I'm glad that I realize those feelings and make me ask myself "I could be like that too, huh?" 

But, recently my emotion rarely gets high until reach mad - angry, but just only annoyed-pissed off. That happened because I feel that's not necessary, I don't need to be mad or angry about small things, so there are no negative vibes in me which take a lot of energy and time. What a waste, right?

Also, I keep trying to maintain my health, mentally and physically. I will hide or even block that have the toxicity to keep away from the bad vibes. I start to aware and trying to push myself to limit the usage of my phone, social media to be exact, and trying to have less sugar and maintain keep a good portion of healthy food, but those both are so hard.

Next, I re-realizing that I love to learn languages. I mean I love to seeking the correct pronounce - writing - and new words. I tried to correct my friend's words or pronunciation that might annoy them, in order to learn together. 

I realized that my English skill is decreasing since high school, and I miss math sometimes. I seldom to having exercise, also I'm bad at it.

Talking about dreams, I found out that I want to try many things, but I kind of doubt in the middle way to choose which one first, or can I turn back to try other things? or can I run it together? or piece by piece? but I keep set aside instead because I want to focus on my study first. 

I want to publish a book, I want to keep creating arts and have my own exhibition or might to sell it, I want to have a store of wearable art. In the future, I want to stay at Jogja and having my old times while keep making art or stitching. 

I just run out of words, ideas, and inspiration to make poetry because of a lack of stunned lol. The prime time when I keep make poetry is when I on my way back home from the office. The tiredness, traffic jam, moon, work together to give me all the words, inspired me. 

There is so much going on in my mind and I would like to write in here, but they come up together so I confused about which one is the one. So, maybe this is the end of the post!

I'm glad for who am I, and I would like to be always grateful. 

That's it, hopefully, this worth reading.

Thank you!